Why should people follow you?
Borrow One Idea: Take Genuine Interest
At some point in my career, I am certain, Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ was given to me as part of a training program. Unfortunately for Dale (and the global consulting firm that paid for his book), I often ascribed the same level of priority to corporate suggested reading as I did to the required reading of my high school English class.
Show me a person who read Les Miserables and I’ll show you a person who did the essay without opening the book. Which is slightly more impressive because in the olden days we lacked generative AI.
If I’d had genAI when Dale’s book was assigned, I would have just asked Perplexity to summarize it. Then I would have learned there are six ways to make people like me (perhaps I should have read the book, this seems useful).
Obviously, if you want Dale’s secrets, I’d encourage you to go to Amazon and purchase his masterpiece. On the off-chance you decide not to do that, I’ll share just one of his tips: take a genuine interest in people.
Or, you can let the US Army tell you the same:
5-40. Many leaders connect at a personal level with their subordinates, which helps leaders to anticipate and understand individual circumstances and needs. Leaders who take an interest in Soldier and DA Civilian development show they care about their subordinates. It ranges from ensuring a subordinate is given time away from the unit to attend Army schools to finding out about a person’s personal interests. Leaders should provide an adequate family support and readiness network to help families, while at home station or deployed, whether military or civilian.
ADP 6-22, 5-40, PDF page 69
Early in my military career, genuine interest in subordinates was something I avoided, as I felt I was more than likely to 1) learn about something in violation of UCMJ or 2) hear about relationship drama. Uneven outcomes in relating to subordinates aside, I still plenty of opportunities to learn about about people’s personal interests.
For example, my battalion commander in Korea was a beer snob. He brewed beer in his hooch, a memory so specific it now boggles my mind: presumably everything was being shipped in and I have to imagine that was against all sorts of regulations. At officer events, this Lieutenant Colonel would deride anyone consuming what he referred to as ‘NASCAR beer’…meaning if the brand was on the hood of a NASCAR vehicle the drink was beneath him.
Everything I know about NASCAR could fit into a single beer bottle. I have never been, nor am now, a fan. I have no idea what is happening in NASCAR in 2025. What limited information I do possess is time-stamped from late 2007 through early 2009, when discussing NASCAR became a Monday morning ritual at the distribution center I managed.
Because that distribution center was the first time I took genuine interest in people.
In large part, because I did not fit in. People were very suspicious of me. I was much younger than the management team I led, did not speak Spanish, was required (by union rule and legal reasons) to follow a very formal interaction model with the most of the employees, and was replacing a facility manager who had been fired for performance but had been well-liked by the team (because he was lenient).
There was not a lot to talk about in the office. I was not interesting enough to organically spark conversation. I needed to find out what other people were interested in.
Chris, one of the long-tenured supervisors at the facility, really liked NASCAR. A lot. It was not a huge act of discovery for me to learn this about her. Race day was a big deal. Her family paid for the premium TV package that allowed them to listen to racers’ radio communication. They went to the races in the region. She had NASCAR paraphernalia around her office space.
I started following NASCAR. Not through Chris, but for Chris. And me.
I did not pay for the premium TV package, but tracked the results, kept current on the drama, learned the personalities. I knew how her driver did, how her husband’s driver did, and though I’ve long forgotten who it was, how the driver Chris hated did. The third one was very important.
All so that I could ask questions about it on Monday. I never had any ability to hold up half of a detailed conversation on NASCAR, but Chris loved it enough to carry on both sides of the equation. I enjoyed asking the questions and it is always fun to listen to people speak on topics for which they have passion.
You can build an authentic relationship on being curious. Chris knew I was making an effort. And appreciated the effort occurred in her field of play. From that genuine interest we could build the rest of the relationship.
Leader-follower relationships do not need to be personal, but it usually helps. Taking a genuine interest in people is not just about getting people to like you, it is a step in the process of encouraging them to trust and follow you.
You might lead some people, but you follow others. It is no less important to take genuine interest in peers and those above you. It’s better for them too.
This week, borrow with pride and take genuine interest in a team member. What are they truly passionate about? What new conversation can you have and what questions can you ask? Do you think about what motivates people beyond work? Why should people follow you?
Get Familiar With: Building Followship
Does having a title or rank make you a leader, or is leadership defined by the act of actually being followed?
Leading others means being followed by others. What is required to build followship?
Leaders inspire and guide subordinates to follow; subordinates react to inspiration and follow guidance while performing their duties. Leaders assess and establish rapport with followers, and followers act in good conscience to follow guidance. Whether serving in the role of leader or subordinate, all are honor bound to perform their duties to the best of their abilities.
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Context determines when a Soldier or DA Civilian is a leader or follower.
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The activity of influencing others depends on the followers’ knowledge, skills, and commitment level.ADP 6-22, 5-3 through 5-4, PDF page 64
The relationship between leading and following is neither linear nor simple. It is not only organizational in nature but is personal and internal: how should we lead and follow, simultaneously?
Hierarchy creates subordinate relationships, but only leaders can foster followers.
Why should people follow you? What techniques work best for you when you need to influence people or build trust? What does it mean to be a good follower? How do you build followship?
The Guided Discovery for this week will examine the US Army’s five competencies for leading, the relationship between leading and following, and what is required to build followship.
Learn More: Suggested Reading
ADP 6-22, Army Leadership and the Profession
Pages 5-1 through 5-16 based on printed document (PDF pages 63-78)
Reviewing the US Army’s five competencies for leading: leading others, extending influence beyond the chain of command, building trust, leading by example, and communicating.
These materials will be the focus of Thursday’s Guided Discovery
Catch Up: Last Week’s Content
Study: Own the Room
Guided Discovery: Command Presence
Always be asking:
1. What is the connection with my leadership development?
2. How does this change my thinking on management?
3. How does this influence planning for life?
4. What can I borrow with pride to use this week?
great stuff as always. I went to a Nascar race in GA and found some folks to be deeply into it even if it was not my bag I learned a lot about racing and to this day can connect with people who I thought I had nothing in common and have a good conversation and a good time.